Oh yes, there will be some days that you definitely got this. There's a blissed-out flow to your work, you ate well and your body felt like that of your eighteen year old self. But many days are worn around the edges like old construction paper.
Read moreBeating Perfectionism: Two Questions That Help Me Let Go
How do we know when to let our hard work out into the world? To hit "send" and wave goodbye? It can be difficult to know when to let go of something that we're working on. I struggle with this as much as the next person. But now, I ask myself two things…
Read moreYou Pick Two
If I were to suggest two ways that could truly amp up your confidence, they would be these:
Say what you mean. Not "yes", if you don't want to. Not "no" if you really would like to. Do you want to see someone again? Tell them. Do you want to ask someone to partner with you? Ask. Awkward is okay. And it's temporary. Confusion over mixed messages or regrets after lost opportunities,though, can last decades.
Act in a way that shows the world what's important to you. This is your paid work, your volunteer work. It's your parenting, the way you treat the bartender and whether or not you try and negotiate a deal on furniture at TROSA. When you act in accordance with your values, you attract a certain community i.e. not everyone that is thirsty to support you.
Both of these tools help you break outside the mom box, into a mold that's completely you. I am not perfect. You know as well as I do the high costs of that shitty path and I don't know about you, but I'm not going back. I mess up all the time. But my life is a series of practices, not attempts at perfection, that reinforce the mold of awesome that I'm in. And that's better than the pinched corners of a box that doesn't fit any day.
That's it. So, you can pick two...or one. Or none. The choice is yours. And it's free. Bonus.
Drop the Ball
What's distracting you?
For a month now I've been focused on the two trainings that I have this month. For the past week, I've been hyper focused on the one this Saturday-two days from now. Because I'm not in my office 40 hours a week, I've needed to really put myself into these projects in bunches of concentrated time. Which meant some things needed to be back-burnered. (See list below.) Doing so has reminded me that we women take on WAY too much on a regular basis. The result is cloudy thinking, little joy and general fatigue. Ick.
I know that I'm not alone here. Am I? I'm writing to moms, pregnant women, child-free women, trying to get pregnant women and women who love their nephews and nieces. In short, all of you. So I'm tossing down the gauntlet. What can you get rid of right now? Not in a few weeks although that is helpful too. Right NOW.
Need some ideas? How about-
responding to email right away;
a volunteer opportunity that is no longer meaningful;
television;
a "bad" client;
standards that don't fit your life;
social media including Facebook;
friendships that are draining you;
a commitment that doesn't make sense;
clothes that don't fit;
"perfect" writing;
negative self-talk.
Shrug it off. Drop the ball. Take a pass. Sit this one out.
Notice how you feel. If you're still cloudy and listless, you need to clean house a bit more, my friend. You won't be "perfect" but you never were...none of us are so you're in good company.
Permission is granted! I'm giving you permission to do it, looking forward with a smile, not regret.
Then, let me know about it. Here in the comments, on Facebook or by email.
What will you get rid of?