Until the same rights exists for everyone (including the right to say "this isn't for me" or "I don't want to") without feeling shamed, "breast Is best" isn't truth. It should not be the "company line "or the public health mandate.
Read more{Behind the Scenes}: How Can I Get My Child To Stop Touching Me?!
Question from our community:
"My 3 year old has an obsession with a mole on my arm. It's a raised mole, and he rub his finger around in a circle on it. I'd love to get him to stop because it's slowly driving me insane. But, honestly, I'm getting touched out! I don’t blame him because it seems like a sensory issue but this needs to stop! What can I do?”
Read more10 Things You Can't Do
Alright, "can't" is subjective but it's Wednesday! I'm only thinking about your emotional good health. Cut me a little slack and read on...
- Wait until it's too late. You know what I mean. Only you know when that is.
- Stop singing. Even if your baby isn't a baby anymore. There's something about singing. If you can talk, you can sing. Metallica, even.
- Postpone a love letter. Really. Just write one, send it, feel the love flow back to you and drink it in like a cold tonic on an August afternoon.
- Hesitate when the thought comes to you. I made my husband a promise early on; if I was thinking it, I'd say it...or text it, if I wasn't close. If the thought is there, it needs to be said.
- Say "I love you" too many times to your kids and partner. They need it. You need it. We need more love in the world. Just keep on giving this one out.
- Stop taking risks. We need the shining successes that come only after many risks have flopped already. So keep going, lady.
- Call your mother too much. Trust me, listen to Skoda, whatever, just don't wait on this one.
- Start the negative self-talk. Once it starts, it's hard to stop. Turn that shit on its head instead. Imagine every possible iteration of that nasty as glory, beauty and praise instead.
- Start any sentence with "when I retire...". 'Nuff said.
- Worry about other people's opinions. One of the original wise men* said, "Be Who You Are and say What You Feel. Those Who Mind, Don't Matter. Those Who Matter Don't Mind." It's quality, not quantity.
Thank you, as always, for reading. I appreciate you being here. Question: what would you add to this list?
*Dr. Seuss, who else?
Going To The Bathroom or Why Bothering People Is A Good Thing
On my flight back from Denver to Atlanta on Tuesday morning, I found myself settled happily in the window seat. Until, I needed to go to the bathroom. Doing so means inconveniencing Aisle Typist and Middle Seat Business Person and, as I glanced up considering my exit, a drink cart and two flight attendant three rows up, advancing quickly. I think. As a mom, there have likely been moments when you have desperately needed to pee but cannot quite get to the bathroom. But my child isn't with me on this trip. I consider for another moment and get up. "Excuse me," I say to MSB. "How are you going to get back?" MSB asks. "I don't know," I reply and keep moving.
I walk down the aisle and happily slide into the bathroom. A quick peepee and I'm on my way. As I get closer, the flight attendant sees me coming and backs up a few rows. "Thank you," I say to her. "You're welcome," she says with a really nice smile. AT and MSB clumsily move out to allow me back to my window. MSB remains standing and after a brief hesitation, heads in the direction from which that I just came.
As I type this, I'm smiling. There wasn't any bravery or real risk taking in deciding to head to the bathroom on a very full plane but I'm still secretly thrilled that I did it. I wasn't going to! I figured, I could wait. I always wait to pee. In the middle of a conversation, carrying a toddler, no public bathroom, said toddler blocking the toilet, whatever. I always wait. But I didn't this time. And I felt worlds better, happy even. Two days later, I remember the good glow and that MSB decided to risk it.
We worry too much about bothering other people. I know I do. You likely do too. But we need to put that worry aside, especially when it comes to our own needs...even ones as "basic" as getting up to use the bathroom. When we do put that worry aside, we get a double header of goodness back at us: our right to feel loved, satisfied and successful are immediately affirmed AND people around us throw us a little more respect. They may not say anything but we don't need them to, do we? Putting aside this worry is especially important for moms. You may have littles at home (or bigs!) but your needs are still important. You still count.
So, go to the bathroom more often! Tell that toddler you have the right to potty too! Go for coffee with a friend! Hire a babysitter so you and partner can get out more (working on this one myself)! Whatever it is, do it. Take a step toward your own needs. And lower those bother-sensing antennae.
Did you do it? What was it? Leave a comment below. Thanks for reading.