8 Unique Ways to Up Your Self-Care Scene

Oh, self-care. That frequently elusive path to relaxation and happiness, you are the bane of so many. 

And yet...

We need you! You're crucial for our healing, de-stressing and sense of self-worth.

So here, dear reader, are eight unique ways you can boost your self-care in the easiest, least anxiety-inducing ways possible. No touching even, I promise! 

1) Be an urban explorer. Go with a friend if you aren't comfortable discovering a new place. The important thing is to go somewhere new. Get in the car and head to somewhere unusual in your own town. Or hop off the bus at the stop two before yours.

2) Splurge on citrus. Buy a few lemons, Cara Cara oranges, a blood orange maybe, and at least one grapefruit, etc. Wash and cut into slices. Trim the rind and arrange on a favorite plate, platter. Inhale your citrus sunset. Citrus improves our mood and is great for our immune system too.

3) Blow bubbles. Bubble wands were 99 cents at Michael's a few months ago. I bought 12. Do you remember how satisfying it was to blow bubbles or twirl around with a bubble wand in your hand? No? Then you really need this tip.

4) Deep breathes. Breathe in to the count of 1, 2, 3 and then breathe out to the same: 1, 2, 3. Repeat 4x. Then tell people about it on your social media and look like a mindfulness CHAMP.

5) Go to bed early. I mean, early. If you normally shut the lights out by 10:00, do it at 9:30. Whatever your usual time is (please tell me you have a usual time), make it 30 minutes earlier. Good sleep can right many wrongs.

6) Wrap yourself in a (weighted) blanket. Great for folks who have anxiety or sleep challenges. Here's a little bit about them from a small business. Weighted blankets can be expensive but it's possible to find people that rent the ones they make as a "try before you buy" and also gently used ones. Leave a comment if you need help finding one.

7) Go to a field, the Eno, your backyard...somewhere and pick wildflowers. Even dandelions count. Dandelions are only a weed if you think they are. {My four year old doesn't think of them as a weed.) Bring home and gather in a small vase. Flowers of any kind are cheery and cheering.

8) De-clutter. Grab a grocery style paper bag. Go around the house and fill it with anything that feels like clutter. For me that means not beautiful or functional. Extra stuff pulls energy away from what's important like your healing or self-care. When you're done put the bag in the car and drop it off at TROSA.

Got a unique tip? Share it below. Thanks for reading!

Now! Or later...

My 8th grade English teacher Mr. West advised giving a book 50 pages. If we didn't like it at that point, he said, it was fair to put it down. I think if Mr. West were in my life today, he would say that it's also fair to return to it later. And, he'd agree with me when I say, put a book down if reading it doesn't feel right. This came to me last night after I looked at my bedside table reading material last night and looked away. Before bed I don't want to think about business or practical feeding tips for my toddler. I usually want to decompress as I gently beckon sleep, not feel the need to take notes. I shuffled my stack after looking back at the same table again. This time I saw Mama Zen.

Graphic courtesy of Seth Godin.

I'd started Mama Zen months ago and felt a little "meh". Nothing resonated with me. Looking at it last night though, everything was a click. Clearly there was a reason it was still in my possession. It can be easy though to drift into a sea of self-guilt over "other" unfinished projects or set aside hobbies. And I was almost there. I was close to should-ing on myself for piles of books that I wasn't reading. But then I remembered that reading should be a pleasure. It is self-care for those of us who see books as an oasis. If reading is a pleasure, then we must always read out of a desire to do so, not out of obligation or guilt.

"Every book is worth reading which puts the reader in a working mood." Emerson said. And if you consider reading to be a way to care for yourself as I do, perhaps this will feel true for you too. Never beat yourself up for not finishing a book. Instead, remember that with reading, like parenting, timing is everything. If something's not working, put it aside. Try it again later. Shake it up a bit even but put it away for later. Even way later. There's a reason it's not working but don't divert energy into puzzling out that question. Just set aside and try again another time. Be gentle with yourself. And, when in doubt, remember this thought from Emily McDowell. 

Thanks for reading...now or later.

All in a day's (hard) work

"The purpose of life is the expansion of happiness and the ability to love and have compassion." - Deepak Chopra

What do you think of when you read this? I'm thinking of you.

...how much work you do everyday for your baby (babies). Going to work outside the home and pumping 2-3x a day while you're there, even at JFK as you head home from yet another work trip. Or staying home with baby and rearranging your day from wake to sleep around them and every little thing they need.

...how much love and energy you put into making sure they are thriving. From the visits to the pediatrician to the choosing of another nanny to the choosing of different pediatrician. You are tireless when it comes to making sure she is getting everything she needs, the best you can afford, the best you can find, the best you can offer.

...how much care you take when you change and bathe your baby. New wipes, on the go or at home, with every. single. diaper. change. Fresh, clean diapers, whether disposable or carefully laundered, with every. single. diaper. change. Checking to make sure the water in the bath is just right. Gently washing tiny fingers and toes.

You expand your baby's happiness every single moment of every day...whether you are with him or whether your partner or another caregiver is. I know you do; you love like you invented the word. With all your heart, head and soul. Every action you take, every decision is seeped in compassion for this little being. Because you are not only caring for her but teaching her a lesson about how to love and what happiness means. But don't forget there's another piece to the lesson: turning these actions on yourself too.

Caring for yourself at work- Asking for the raise. Taking a walk at lunch. Stepping away from a meeting to get fresh water. Heading out of the office for 15 minutes to meet a colleague or community partner for coffee. Getting the supervision, mentoring you deserve.

Pour energy into your own physical and emotional health- Going to the chiropractor for an adjustment. Connecting weekly with friends for a run. Talking to a coach, therapist or other support person for reassurance, advice or with any concerns you have. Schedule time alone.

Personal self-care- Shut the bathroom door and let your partner worry about the baby. Shower everyday. Get a haircut or a pedicure. Take a hot bath occasionally. Toss clothes that don't work; buy ones that do. Take deep breathes & vitamins. Eat foods that make you feel good.

You can't expand anyone's happiness or even teach anyone that their happiness is important unless you're willing to show yourself some. As a mom, it can't usually be a 1-1 thing. It can be a 3-1 though: 3 parts doing for your baby, 1 part for yourself. Any less than that and you risk your baby (who will be a watchful, smart child before you know it) learning a different sort of lesson: happiness comes from someone taking care of us and if that doesn't make us happy, something is likely wrong with us. Ugh. Who would want their child to learn that?

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