With the elimination of group coaching so too goes the social media marketing campaigns. From here on out, I'll post on Facebook and Twitter when I feel like it.
Read moreGood enough but better
What I'm realizing is that my work as a human (and isn't that, at the core what all of our work really is?) needs to spring from the sweet spot between "I'm good enough" and "I can be better".
Read moreCase Study: Susan sets a boundary
"Susan" (a pseudonym) is a freelance, non-profit consultant who took on a friend as a client. She liked the friend's organization a lot, knew that she could give them a good price and serious value for their investment. The project was initially smaller in scope but that shifted over the course of their months together. When it became evident to Susan that she was investing more time than she'd planned and was having to back-burner a larger, more exciting (and better paying) client, Susan decided she needed to ask for help. From me...because fortunately she's my client! Here's what we worked on:
Could Susan address the expansion of the scope of the work, feel in integrity with herself and keep the friendship?
Yes! Here's how:
I advised Susan to set up a time to talk to her client friend in person. A difficult conversation, yes, but it shows that she values and respects the friendship and the partnership so it's essential.
Susan decided to be honest and tell the friend what they both knew: the project has become bigger than was initially projected and because of this, Susan was having some conflicts with other planned clients.
Working together, we estimated that Susan could give that client 10 hours of work a week until December 1 and then would be off the project. We decided this was realistic for Susan without feeling like too much of a stretch.
Susan also offered to refer her to a colleague who could take over the unfinished work, if the offered time wasn't sufficient for her client friend.
Finally, Susan told the friend that she valued the friendship too much to continue to try and commit to a project that she didn't feel she could give 100% any longer.
What happened next:
At our next session, Susan told me that the friend had taken the news very well and decided to take her up on the offer of a referral to someone else. Turns out that other person had a skill set that Susan didn't which would have been needed on the expanded version of the project. The situation ended up being a win/win for everyone involved. Best of all, Susan and the friend are still friends.
Lessons:
A spoken "no" often allows space for someone else to reply with an excited "yes!"
Taking on a friend as a client usually comes at a cost, even if "just" in hard conversations and emotional energy.
Setting better boundaries shows self-respect and generates respect.
Where do you need to set a boundary in your own life? Thank you for reading.
Empty Stomach Syndrome
Do you wait for other people to make decisions that impact your life? Are you a mindless eater or snacker? Do you find yourself validated by how many "likes" your photo or post receives? Does that afternoon coffee or evening wine feel like a must? Is your schedule very full of appointments or projects for other people? Do you find yourself wishing that people read your mind so you wouldn't have to say what you really think?
If so, you may be suffering from Empty Stomach Syndrome (ESS). ESS is the result of relying on other people and stuff to complete us. ESS is common in busy women who have a hard time establishing, then prioritizing their needs and wants. Women who struggle with life / balance issues can be especially susceptible to ESS.
But there is a cure for ESS and it doesn't involve a prescription. It involves a shifting of your gaze from external to internal. From people, stuff and situations to you, you and YOU.
You are the source of everything you want in your life.*
No one or no thing can give you love, satisfaction, happiness and success. Too often you expect someone or somethings to fill a void(s) within us. That results in a rumbly, grumbly stomach (ESS) that doesn't ever shut up, usually because you're feeding it the soul-crushing version of Twinkies. You need the real stuff that comes from inside of you, not outside. Relying on others to complete you (even your partner and especially your kids!) is like relying on someone else to choose your major in college. Sooner or later, the outsourcing will catch up with you and it likely won't be pretty when it does.
Is ESS an issue for you? What void are you trying to fill? Leave me a comment below or over on my Facebook page.
Thanks for reading. If you like this post, click the heart icon below. If you really like this and want to hear more, please subscribe to my weekly newsletter which comes your way every Wednesday.
* Want to learn more and how? Come to The Pandora Passport starting Tuesday October 20.