Your partner isn't smarter than you. S/he isn't more organized. But s/he is likely keeping track of way less than you are. Should you change that? Maybe, but perhaps not in the way you're imagining.

When I wondered why my husband never seemed to scrawl down a thought, text at a stop light or write down notes on his bedside table, I realized that he kept track of way less than I do. (Belated lightbulb moment, yes!) Like many women, I handle the bulk of the running of our house which includes childcare and school. I bet this isn't so different for you too. I'm also the one who volunteers, RSVPs to events, gets up early and handles all medical appointments. My husband keeps track of little outside of his own work. The more thoughts/commitments I have to keep track of, the less attention I have and the more I revert to texting while at stop lights.  

This is why you must drop what doesn't work for you. Be relentless about this. Don't drop it 1/2 way and "just" do the marketing (as I was recently asked). That's not dropping anything. It's hard to drop anything. You're good at a lot and other people know it. But you know that when you spread myself too thin, you don't do anyone any good. Least of all yourself if you're still texting at stop lights or shopping at the last minute for a birthday gift. 

Here's another reason to drop stuff: the less clutter you have, the better decisions you'll make. Excess clutter of all types diminishes your ability to say “no” for two reasons:

  1.  You can't hear gut instinct. Using gut instinct is one way to get to "no" if you're stuck but you can't summon gut instinct. It's either there or it's not. And it's not there if your world is too loud, crowded or full of multi-tasking. It's also not present if you're sleepy.
  2. Clutter = stuff = low energy. I have a huge pile of clothes in a closet. It contains clothes from all seasons and I'm unsure what to do with it. So it sits looking at reproachfully at me, drawing my precious energy into an abyss that I can't get back. 

We can only change what we have control over. And that includes the stuff you handle. You're beautiful as you are. Don't change a thing if it's all working for you! But do give yourself greater sanity, control and peace of mind by dropping what's not working for you and is costing you any of those three things. 

What will you drop? Leave me a note below.

A little less conversation

"On the joyous side"