If you're a survivor...

Abuse changes your life.

You have the power to change it even more.

Silence keeps secrets and shame locked up. Silence also adds stress and anxiety. I'm a sexual abuse survivor too so I get it. But I also know that talking about sexual abuse opens rusty locks and breaks down shame. When we tell our story, we take back the power and control that was taken from us. In doing so, we choose our own brave ending. But talking is the first part. 

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That's what happens in the weekly, free peer support group for sexual abuse survivors. We meet every Tuesday at Dress for Success Triangle in Durham from 6:30-8:30 pm. The group is drop-in so you don't need to reserve a place in advance or call-ahead. Come if you can. Leave early if you need to. Lap babies are welcome and the group is LGBTQ+ affirmative. No judgment here, just some gentle acceptance from women who get you.

And that's the gift of a community who gets you.

Because not everyone will. But by understanding how and why the effects of past abuse can linger for a lifetime, you can not only help yourself but also improve your quality of life. We do that in this group. The emphasis is on who you are and what feels most important to you. We don't talk diagnosis or mental health and no one is an expert. You're the expert of you. That's the peer support difference. You won't find that anywhere else.

Come check us out. 

 

Why You Should Ditch The People Who Say "get over it"

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Abuse isn't something to "get over".

You were hurt. It was painful and horrible, not fair. You didn't deserve it. It wasn't your fault. You have the right to be angry, mournful, actively sad or any emotion at all about what happened.

Don't let anyone try to rob you of your feelings about the abuse. People who say "get over it" or ask when you will be over it, are attempting to control you to make themselves more comfortable. They have no right to do that.

Don't let them control you.

You are fine, just as you are. And if you are not fine, you should consider getting making changes so you aren't feel healthier. You deserve that. People people minimizing your experiences or your feelings are not worthy of you.

Remember The First Best Thing and go from there when you're building (or dismantling) relationships.