Do Unto Others
I know you do. You head back to the store to pay for the toy that your child walked out with. You see the barista at Starbucks and interact with her like she's a person you know. You pay your bills on time. The problem isn't you, my friend. It's everyone else.
And herein lies the shitty truth that you need to tell people (a client of mine said "train people," once...which I also liked) how you MUST be treated. This is one of the basic principles of good boundaries. You tell them what's okay i.e. you set a boundary and then when it's overstepped, you don't engage. Repeat: you don't engage. Stop the work. Stop the presses. Stop the talking. Just pull the emergency lever like it's on a runaway train that you need to get the hell off of.
It's that simple. That doesn't mean it's easy but it is that simple.
Here's another truth: no one will think less of you when you tell someone how you need to be treated, usually, we'll think MORE of you. Because you're taking a stand for yourself. That shows self-respect. Self-respect is that perfume we wear that everyone wants to know the name of. It's irresistible.
Stop being the doormat who tries to accommodate everyone. Impossible. And you will always fail. Instead, strive for being the woman who accommodates in order of importance...to her! Let anything else fall away. It's not for you. Don't wear it or carry it.
Do unto others should work both ways. But it doesn't. Take good care of YOU, my friend.