Bad to The Bone: How Bad Habits Affect Confidence
As I sat in traffic yesterday (twice!) cursing, I realized I never finished this blog post. Maybe if I had, I wouldn't be repeating the same mistake over and over again, feeling frustrated and annoyed each time.
One of my bad habits is leaving too little time to get to the next thing.
This isn't always my fault. Any parent out there knows, unless you're taking your kid to ice cream or a Playmobil store, it is notoriously difficult to get out of the house. Water bottles? Check. Change of clothes? Check. We're almost done potty training so we still need to think about wipes and diapers, just in case. Check, check. But even with the child factor and the unknown factor ("when did construction start here??"), 80-85% of this is on me.
Bad habits take a toll on our confidence. When I'm running late, negative self-talk comes in big time. "Other parents are there on time..." is a big one. We have the world beating us up, down and sideways, we don't need to add to that nasty conversation! Self-talk can be a prophetic so if there's mean shit we're saying to ourselves, we need to knock it off. If I nix this bad habit of running late, the "you're not as good a parent," talk will also go by the wayside.
This bad habit, though, is not just bad on us; it's bad on / for others. Who wants to look rushed? And I'd rather my child not saying, "I'm holding on!" as we speed through town. Ugh. Neither of those are good.
This blog does a nice job holding me accountable so I'll claim it here: this habit will be nixed by September 1. Eeek! Here's what I'm going to do to make it happen:
- Adjust all of my clocks to be on time, not fast. I realized part of my challenge is not knowing exactly how much time I have to get to somewhere because my watch runs 5 minutes fast (I think!), my car is 9 minutes fast (or is it 10?) but my phone is exact. Confusion doesn't help.
- Give myself a big window to practice. September 1 is a not-so-distant goal so it feels both urgent and manageable.
- For NY State Senator, Kirsten Gillibrand, the most important thing is picking up her kids each day. Not sure how true this is for me but the idea rings true. I need to say "no", in the moment more to the person I'm with who might make me late.
- Document it! I'll share this intention on social media starting this week (not next when this post will come out!) and with friends, clients, family, etc. Accountability is essential when changing habits (why you hire a coach!) so I'll take it wherever I can find it.
I'll report back in the September 2 blog post how this worked. In the interim, what are your bad habits? How do they hold you back? Share a comment below or over at my Facebook page.