Remember the "I'm not supposed to be here," post from a few months back? (I also posted about it here a few weeks ago.) Wellllll.....there is some truth to that. You're not supposed to be here. But it's not personal. Truly. It has nothing to do with your skills or the opposite, your growth places, even. The worlds you and I live in aren’t really for us. How could they be? They weren’t designed by us.
photo credit, as always, by Rawpixel
Corporate America and the business world? Designed by men, mainly white men.
Outside traditional work places, the worlds of SAHPs, caregivers or domestic helpers? Governed by laws written by mainly white men.
Academia, medicine, journalism, even the art world? Designed by men, mainly white men.
It's no wonder that many of us aren't even at home in our bodies when not even our skin, bones, organs 🫀are our own. Governed as we are by laws, systems and practices which allow certain things (surgery to assist weight loss for example) and explicitly ban other things (abortion to save the life of the mother or in the case of incest for example). Of course all of this is made more complicated and exhausting if you are someone with less privilege.
But
but
but
there is freedom in knowing and accepting the world is not supposed to work for us.
I mean, if we aren't supposed to be here anyway, then do we need to play by the rules that weren't intended for us? Do we need to keep to social norms that don't work for us? Must we keep going high and putting on a forced smile when they go low? I don't think so.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying go break laws because they were written by white men.
What I am saying is this:
Let's stop trying to force ourselves into boxes that were designed to keep us out.
Let's do start figuring out what we can do to make the system work for us.
Join me Thursday February 25 at 730 pm EST for my workshop, “It’s Not People-Pleasing; It’s Patriarchy”. We’ll talk about what’s really behind our “yeses” and “no’s” and what we can do to feel less guilt, overwhelm and exhaustion…the most common symptoms of living in a society where you’re the emergency plan. Head here for details.