How To Improve On A Good Thing

Starting with the Domestic Violence group that starts next week, I move to a drop-in model of peer support-

My goal with support groups for abuse survivors has always been to make them as accessible as possible. The groups are free. They are open to any female-identified person, regardless of diagnosis or situation*. They are LGBTQ affirmative and trauma-informed.

However, it occurred to me that I could make the peer support groups better and more trauma-informed if I were to go to a drop-in model. This idea came at the same time as folks were asking about attending but had a date conflict. As I work on my book on how to lead trauma-informed, peer support groups, going to a drop-in feels like the natural next step.

View fullsize

Thoughts from a few participants from a past peer support group.

A drop-in model means that attendance is not "strongly encouraged". Participants can come to one session in the series of six (or eight) or all. They may see the same folks at each meeting or new folks. Drop-in groups are more accessible because interested attendees don't need to wait long before joining. There is even less of a screening process, too, which may also help potential folks feel more comfortable. But the best reason of all is that drop-in groups give more power and control back to the survivor. All survivors needs more of that.

For everyone's comfort, privacy and safety, I will continue to keep location confidential. So I ask folks to reach out to me if they are interested in a group by clicking here. When they do, they share their name and email with me so I can contact them with group details. I can also answer any questions they have before they arrive at a group.

Thanks for reading and for your support.

*Groups are open to women who are far removed from their abuse and women whose abuse is more recent.

Book review: Making Out Like a Virgin

I learned of _Making Out Like A Virgin: Sex, Desire and Intimacy After Sexual Trauma_ in an article I read. The book is not a "how to" as I had thought but a collection of seventeen true stories from survivors. I hear a lot of these stories so nothing new for me. But if you are a sexual trauma survivor who wonders about intimacy after abuse, this is a good book to check out.

One of the strengths of _Making Out Like A Virgin_ is the broad range of voices represented within. There are men, women, trans people. Straight people, people in recovery, black, white, differently abled folks. Everyone's in there! Their stories are each a little different which makes for interesting reading.

Speaking of everyone, I seldom mention male survivors. For one, this isn't my experience. Secondly, my research and teaching centers on how abuse affects women and girls. That's what I know best. And yet, it feels important to remind us again that sexual abuse happens to men and boys as well. But, yes, that happens in far fewer numbers. _Making Out Like A Virgin_offers several male survivor stories which should be an inspirational to some men.

Rarely when it comes to the subject of sexual trauma is "joy" a relevant feeling. But there is a lot of joy in these personal stories. There's triumph, good humor, and tenderness which feels joyful at times. It's as if you are being told a story by a generous someone with wisdom and compassion for themselves. That's all pretty awesome in a collection of stories like this.

Something else I appreciated in the stories was the frequent presence of a trusted person. These survivors get how important it is for them to have safe people in their lives. Some of the authors are partnered. Some of them mention a special person who supported them unconditionally. Survivors must have a trusted person in their life. I talk about this in my peer support groups as well in most of my writing, recently here.

The book's editors Catriona McHardy and Cathy Plourde. McHardy was a former Director of Education and Training at Planned Parenthood. She now teaches at a community college and does consulting. Plourde is a playwright. She uses theatre as a vehicle for social justice conversations. Neither identify (that I could find) as a survivor. If _Making Out Like a Virgin_ wasn't a collection of essays, you know I'd be suspicious. But McHardy and Plourde keep their commentary short and leave the insights, thankfully, to the authors.Order at Amazon here or, as I did, via The Regulator here. Same price. Shop local, y'all.