Yvette was a pretty dark haired woman in her early 30's. If you saw her at Starbucks, you wouldn't believe she was a domestic violence survivor.

I got to know Yvette when I was working at a local non-profit. Her boyfriend checked her texts when she was in the shower and tried to get into her email. Like many abusers, he seemed to thrive off of Yvette's confusion, fear and second-guessing of herself. It was only after years of Yvette suspecting he was spying on her that she finally came to see us..

The boyfriend, R, told Yvette he wanted lots of babies with her. At first, that sounded great. But the longer they were together, the more insistent he became (red flag). So insistent that it felt like it was more about R proving something than it was about intentionally building a family with her. He'd started to pick fights with her about using contraception. She told me that he was "playing with" her birth control, a common abuser technique called reproductive coercion. Twice R told her he was wearing a condom but Yvette realized that he wasn't. R started going into the bathroom when she wasn't there and removing her birth control pills.

One day Yvette became pregnant. She didn't tell him; she told me. She wanted a child more than almost anything else. Almost. But not more than Yvette wanted to be safe and away from R. Not more than she wanted someone else to be the father. So she had an abortion.

Banning abortion keeps abuse survivors, like Yvette, in situations that are precarious, unhealthy and potentially lethal. Homicide is a leading cause of death for pregnant women. Women of all backgrounds are at increased risk of being physically abused when they become pregnant. Being unable to have an abortion strengthens the tie between an abuse survivor and her abuser. Abortion must remain legal, safe, accessible and open to any gender for any reason. Join me in donating to any abortion rights/access/support orgs.