My Values

I think it’s important for you to know who you’ll be working with. This may matter to you because you may feel more comfortable with me as a person if you know more about me and how my background impacts my work.

I am a white, cis-het female in a partnered relationship with a cis-het male. We have a child and a rescue dog. I am a US citizen and live in Durham, North Carolina on land that was formerly the territory of the Lumbee and Shakori tribes. I am a native english speaker who benefits from thin and pretty privilege. I identify as a rape survivor and came to speak publicly about being a survivor after the death of my mother in 2015.

I grew up as the oldest of four children in a middle-class family. My father worked at a newspaper and my mother was a teacher at the private schools that my siblings and I attended. We benefited from access to an education that we would not have been able to afford otherwise. I attended a state university for undergraduate (University of Connecticut) and another one for grad school (Southern Connecticut State University). As a way to live my own beliefs around advancing equity, my child attends public school and we are strong supporters of our public school system.

My background and privilege influence my work. Here’s how:

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  • I use a trauma-sensitive lens for all of my work because I believe everyone is a trauma survivor. As a result, I actively take steps to understand, recognize and respond to the effects of trauma to avoid further harm.

  • My way of feminism is inclusive and intersectional. It is grounded in consent and anti- "isms"s influenced by women like Audre Lorde and bell hooks.

  • I’m committed to examining and owning my own privilege (white, cis-het, native English speaker, US resident and a few others) and raising my voice as an active ally wherever I can.

  • I am actively anti-racist. I learn from the names you likely know too as well as a circle of BIPOC friends who teach through their words and work so generously everyday.

What these values looks like in real life:

  • I am open to criticism and feedback but I listen to marginalized voices instead of the “calling all white women” type posts from...white women.

  • I no longer speak at events or on podcasts where the speakers are or have been disproportionately white. (language courtesy of Kelly Diels)

  • I redistribute 15% of my income to charities, causes or individuals.

  • I don’t believe in “applying” to work with me. It feels exclusionary, elitist and reeks of meritocracy (some winners and some losers, ugh :/).

  • I do believe in payment plans. Payment plans are a form of financial accessibility AND they’re helpful for my income stability (language courtesy of Toi Smith).

    A version of this post can be seen on my Instagram Highlights here.